Porno= Epic Fail!

Soooo... I was on Hulu and this movie keeps popping up as one of the most popular movies on the site so I decided to check it out. Of course it's tagged with XXX so while I don't think it's necessarily a porno, I assume that it has some super ridiculously awesome sex scenes and some boob and probably ass with a teasing of penis that never materializes. For the sake of journalism I decided to watch it (I love how I can try to do things that are "frowned upon" and blame journalism. So handy!). I think you can judge for yourself that this movie is not what I thought by the title of my post but I'll review it anyway.



Okay plot breakdown: Two broke guys who just lost their jobs move to LA. Two chicks who are roommates go on a quest to find male prostitutes for a night. The four meet at a hotel bar, the girls bring them back to their house, sex occurs. Girls proposition guys to become their personal sex toys for cash. Love occurs. The end. This would all be well and good if the cast of characters were actually...well, attractive. One of the guys is smoking hot and one of the girls I've actually seen in bit parts on TV and is really pretty. The other two leave a lot to be desired. I'm fairly certain the guy might be attractive if he were to cut his hair off.



The unattractive ones engage in some crazy ass sex with bondage and spanking and cries of "NOOO" that mean "YES!" Give me more. The unattractive ones spend a lot of time...talking. She is super uptight, he is a free spirit. He ends up teaching her about love. Including introducing her to butt sex with one of the funniest lines ever after she tells him she does not think his manhood will fit in her back door.




"Well, you've seen the size, right? You've taken shits bigger than that, right?" How on earth was this line uttered with a straight face? I give both of them points for acting through this scene which had to be insanely awkward (especially considering Johann Urb is married).

Surprisingly enough the movie was kind of cute if slightly awkward. And the ending is definitely not what you think it will be which was refreshing. I found myself only really wanting to watch the attractive couple though which made me feel insanely shallow but seriously, the guy is HOT. And the unattractive couple had more than a few screws loose.

So, my attempt at a porno was an epic fail. Unfaithful, and just about every show on Showtime and HBO, has more sex in them than this movie did. So, I guess next time I need to be in the mood I can just throw some Tudors into the DVD player! As Ashley pointed out to me, there are plenty of sites to watch for free. Just not sure I'm there yet.