On Thursday night, I was set to drive 45 minutes home to my parents and spend a few days hanging with my bro when I got the following BBM:
Hey is there any way you could wait until tomorrow to come over? I was gonna try and get some alone time with Ashley before she leave for Boston.
Interesting. So I responded:
Uhhhh haha do we need to have a talk about the birds and the bees?
He took the high road and ignored me.
I got home the next day and he was at work. After a few glasses of wine (yes, I drink alone), I got bored and decided to wander the house. I noticed as I walked past my brother's room, that his trash can was empty. He's lived back at home since July and I have never been to the house when it hasn't been overflowing with shit. Thirty minutes later, I thought to myself that his trash was probably in the can outside (pathetic, right) so I headed out and had a peek. There was one bag of trash but it was the kitchen trash. Smart kid that he is, he threw his trash in the kitchen trash and then threw it out.
Another 30 minutes and I discovered this in his room:
My little brother, the 24 year old virgin, HAS CONDOMS. The kind of condoms that indicate he was nervous about his performance. And the dumb fuck put them in the drawer of the nightstand in the guest room he sleeps in. He didn't even try to hide them! They were right there on top.
My brother is not a virgin anymore. I can't decide if I should be disgusted or proud!
1 comment:
ummm that's absolutely hilarious! yay little bro! or ewww? idk. congrats either way. i'm sure he'd be thrilled to know you outed him on your blog. props berryfine. props.
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