Check Out: @SassyPantssss
Bio: I'm a cardiovascular technologist, exercise physiologist, whogivesafuckologist... Nothing nice to say? Come sit by me! Unless you're a cranky fuckwad.
My favorite Tweets:
- @4_petesakes61 I might tweet like a total cunt, but I'm actually very NON confrontational IRL. I think I'm gonna do the same as you would.
- When you see a stolen tweet in your TL, do you call them out for being a plagiarizing fuckstick or simply unfollow?
- Getting ready for work is so much fun til you realize it was all a dream & you've slept through your alarm again.
- Perhaps my bio should include a warning about the risks of applying my tweets to a sand chafed twat.
- I'm gonna create a list of followers called "borderline unfollows if they don't stop with the fucking football tweets."
- Some1 unfollowed me for my anti football tweet. I feel bad knowing his vagina weeps for the shitty team he was cheering for.
- My neighbors don't seem to understand my dog follows commands better when they're preceded by the words "Hey asshole!"
- I'm gonna go build a snowman. Wait. Did I say snowman? Oh well... I'm sure you know I meant snowcock.
- I just checked out who Twitter thinks is similar to me. I dunno who I feel more sorry for... me or them?
- How many times are you supposed to say "bless you" when someone sneezes before you're allowed to punch them in the face?
- My favorite jeans have more rips & tears than a labor & delivery ward.
- You know who doesn't give a shit about the place or time? Bowels.
- Why do people say "red head?" I think they mean "orange head." Or "fire crotch." (Goodbye orange haired followers).
- Watching my boss fail to get his tiny catheter into a woman's huge vessel sure explains why his wife is such a stabby cunt.
- Some asshat didn't wave after I let him thru so I ran him into a ditch. Feeling much better about the situation now.
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