Nights I can't remember with friends I'll never forget

So I had a post planned on my rules of dating (every girl has her own version though in my case it is more of a set of loose guidelines. See what I did there? And this is getting too long for a set of parenthesis). But then, The Ego Booster dropped a bomb shell last night and now I'm obsessing and got no sleep last night. Another thing girls do because we are all fucking crazy (though most won't admit it as freely as I do). You tell us one seemingly inconsequential thing and we analyze the fuck out of it. We beat a dead horse. And then we go back for more.

Jesus. Clearly I am both obsessing and suffering for it.

Any. Way.

The Ego Booster and I were having a normal conversation. In fact, I believe we may have been joking about my last trip to Jersey and what a mess I was. The following conversation then occurs:

EB: What, you don't remember making out with me? At Bar A?
B: Shut up. Why would you wait until now to ask me that? Or I guess rather to tell me that?
B: I hope you don't feel too used? Whoops.
EB: Haha it wasn't that long or anything. I guess your booze kicked in an you wanted a lil lovin'.
B: Damnit.
EB: What?
B: I made out with you and I can't remember!
EB: Haha, better than us having sex and you not remembering.
B: Fuccccckkkkkkk. I'm sorry Ego Booster.
EB: For what?
B: For not remembering. I feel like a real jackass.
EB: I'm not mad or anything. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry.

And from there it just spiraled out of control. I was so frustrated with my inability to remember. Even after being prodded I have ZERO recollection. No vague memory or sensory thought. Just blackness.

B: That does explain a lot about Monday though.
EB: Why?
B: I couldn't figure out why I had the urge to kiss you all Monday morning.
EB: Ahhh, yeah. I got an off hug instead. Weak.
B: Hey! You could have kissed me. Jerk.
EB: Haha, I was going to but then the hug came in and I figured I was in the friend zone.
B: I was so fucking confused. The urge to kiss you seemingly came out of nowhere and then I was all like self-conscious and shit cause I thought it was just me being ridiculous.

Jesus, WHO THE FUCK GOES TO A BAR AT 27 YEARS OLD AND SUCKS FACE?!?!?! As The Ego Booster pointed out, apparently me. And clearly, I have an issue remembering shit when I drink or the Sex Test wouldn't exist. But there is no kiss test yet so how the fuck was I supposed to know? And why would anyone wait A MONTH AND A HALF to fucking mention it? There have been ample opportunities to bring up the fact that I threw myself at this guy in the bar.

On a side note, this makes it super impressive (or sad) that when he got me back to our friend's place, he simply put me to bed and didn't try to get me naked. I mean what a gentleman. Or idiot since clearly I was revving to go. 

I then dialed my friend from college and told her the whole pathetic story and she just laughed at me and told me not to fret (don't fret little one). But I can't NOT fret. As a female I am wired to wonder what he thinks of me for doing that? And, is that why he talks to me? Because I'm a hussy who throws herself at men in bars and then sexts them on the weekends they aren't together? (the answer to that one is no. He actually answered it without being asked when I called him at 12:30 am to figure out what the fuck he was thinking) Was the make out good? (I would assume yes otherwise why would he want to come visit me and make out some more?) Does this instantly ruin anything we had going? Why the fuck can't I remember?

God. I'm a nut job. A nut job who needs coffee. Stat.