Life In Shambles Gets Pulled Over

I have ridiculous stories involving cops and one day I will have to share them all but lets start with Mondays and go backwards.

Monday, I'm driving from my office to my parentals house where I will begin caring for my 15 year old sister (you can read that account here). I am blasting the radio, sitting at a red light and tweeting while driving. Yes, it is illegal. No, I didn't care at the time. So the light changes, and mid-tweet I make the left turn onto the road my neighborhood is on. I'm accelerating down the road when suddenly the asshat in front of me starts slowing down and getting over.

"Use a blinker, dickhead." I mutter to myself as I brake.

I happened to glance in the mirror and notice blue lights flashing and ah ha! The cop must be trying to get by so I, too, get over on the side of the road. Which really just means, half in the road, half in the grass.

And then the cop pulls up BEHIND ME.

Well, shit. Am I about to be the first Gwinnettian to get a ticket for texting while driving?

"Driver, pull into the driveway to your right please."

Damnit.

I pull in, turn the car off, the music down and dig out my brand new license with my brand spanking new address. Which happens to be in Fulton County and my tag says Gwinnett so I'm gonna need to hop on that real quick like.

The cop swaggers up to my car and takes my license.

"This your current address?"

"Yes, sir. I just relocated and got that one in the mail."

"Okay, well..." he studies it. Then he looks up at me. "You've got a brake light out so this should take no time to handle."

Oh shit. It's been out since August and I keep spending my money on booze instead of dropping 5.99 on brake lights. Damnit. What a stupid fucking ticket.

"It is? I live by myself and there is no indicator in my car so I wouldn't have known without you telling me," I feign surprise.

"Well, only those German cars have indicators so don't worry about it."

He moseys on back to his car, runs my name and is back in about 2 minutes.

A brake light offense doesn't go on your record by the way. I just googled it. Offense 40-8-23 (defective or no taillights) or 40-8-25 an 40-8-26 (Brake light/turn signal violation) only go on commercial driving records. I suppose they pull you over to notify you, make a note on your record in case you get pulled over again and that's the end of it.

"Here you go," he hands me my license. "So you live in Fulton but you do laundry in Gwinnett?"

What a dickhead. Does he commentate on everyones belongings? If so, I gotta clean my car out more often.

"Actually, my mom is in New Jersey caring for my dying grandmother and I am taking care of my sister. Just didn't have time to do my laundry before coming over," I reply. What the fuck is his deal?

"What part of Jersey are you from?"

"Monmouth county- Jersey Shore basically," I reply, thinking that all he knows about Jersey could probably be summed up in a 30 minute television show about "Italian" skanks living in a summer rental.

"You know, I'm from North Jersey and I never got around to visiting that area," he laughs. "Well, just whenever you can, take care of that brake light."

"Oh I'll pick one up on my way to my sister's swim practice," I reply.

And then its done. He scared the living shit out of me over a fucking brake light.

Is it fixed? Of course not. Life in Shambles doesn't roll that way.