Dear Maxim

A little late on the thank you, but I laughed to the point of tears while reading the July issue of Maxim on vacation. I sat by the pool drinking and navigating the "Porn Dictionary" while my summer fling got an hour massage at the hotel spa. Despite the coolness of a chick getting buzzes while flippin' through a men's mag, he gave me the heave-ho after the trip. How lame is that? At least I can always count on you.

Megan

First off, I dig her. She's a cool chick and any guy would be lucky to have her. Second, you could do better for a summer fling Megan. Why the fuck was he getting a massage when you were getting off reading porn definitions and drinking booze? Clearly, this guy is gay because he missed out on a golden opportunity to fuck the hell out of you.