SoI get a good amount of GREAT emails from a friend of mine. I have decided I must share the entertainment with the world. Perhaps you will not find it as funny but whatever. I don't care.
From: E [mailto:hjhofhaioghin@hiahfioan.com]
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 9:35 AM
To: R, Store 6579
Subject:
YOU ICE SCULPT?!?!?!?! That's wayyyyy cooler than a cake with sprinkles
E
-----Original Message-----
From: R
To: E
Sent: Feb 15, 2008 09:59:49 AM
Subject: RE:
Yeah. I’m kind of like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day after he’s had like 100 days to refine his life. On another note, it is a pleasure to know that at ________, “your bottom line is people”.
From: E
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 10:18 AM
To: R- Store 6579
Subject: RE:
Thanks for the laugh...I'm having a terrible morning and I needed that.Don't be jealous because I have a sweet signature and you don't.
E
-----Original Message-----
From: R
To: E
Sent: Feb 15, 2008 10:25:07 AM
Subject: RE:
Actually, I have a very beautiful signature. I don’t put it on replies due to my utter professionalism.
From: E
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 10:30 AM
To: R Store 6579
Subject: RE:
well i guess you showed me :0 Mine automatically shows up on an email whether I like it or not. And I'm not allowed to put a sweet UGA football helmet on mine. You're just better than me in every way. You win. I might stay home tonight and eat quarts of ice cream and drink massive amounts of wine until I pass out or end up in the hospital. If no one hears from me over the weekend you might want to tell them to check my house....
-----Original Message-----
From: R
To: E
Sent: Feb 15, 2008 12:05:30 PM
Subject: RE:
Actually, I’m not going to lie to you. Had the UGA helmet on my email for about a year. Then, one day I had a deal that I was trying to get an exception on. Emailed my boss, who used to work in Florida. He then emailed his former boss, a regional vice president (big deal). This jerk proceeded to personally email me, telling me that personal logos are not allowed on the signature. I found out later that he was a Gayturd fan. But after writing this, I have decided to reassert my allegiance to the dawgs and add it back.
From: E
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 12:15 PM
To: R Store 6579
Subject: RE:
Wow you sound bitter. I don't think I've ever heard you so worked up or personally offended! Not even when I make fun of you have I heard such hurt... But you're showing him with that personal logo attached to your email. You rebel you.
You going to dinner with us tonight?
-----Original Message-----
From: R
To: E
Sent: Feb 15, 2008 01:11:11 PM
Subject: RE:
I am bitter. Gators are bad. And I like my bulldog helmet. I have tried to rebel before, and just delete it when emailing the boss, but I always blow it. We’ll see how it goes this time. Tonight I’m driving to South Carolina. I’ve got an engagement party. Basically none of us like this guy’s future wife, and he has been a pretty non-existent friend for about 2 years. I probably wouldn’t have gone to the wedding if I wasn’t in it. 2 of the guys have come up with bs excuses, so I basically have to go or he will have practically none of his wedding party there. Not very excited.
From: E
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 1:57 PM
To: R - Store 6579
Subject: RE:
Ewwwwwww. That sucks. You're such a good friend though. Way to take one for the team. How bad is this girl?!?!?! That sucks you wont be at dinner tonight- I've had a shitty day and it's only 2 and I could have used you to entertain me :)
From: R- Store 6579
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 2:34 PM
To: E
Subject: RE:
It’s great to know that you can send curse words over email. I hate emailing people when I have to sensor my language. We can send anything within the company, but I really despise getting blocked. I got censored for the word “n^de” the other day for God’s sake. Let’s see if this works- f^ck, @ss, sh^t, b^^b.
The girl is horrible. She controls absolutely everything he does, and he just takes it. She has pretty much banned him from friends, and really anything that doesn’t involve her. And this party, they sent out the invitations roughly a week ago, I called him to tell him I’m coming, hasn’t returned my call. He is like a ghost. It’s very sad. The old Z was a good guy.
Z before devil woman: Actually, I just looked at 400 something pictures on facebook, and there is not one left of Z before devil woman got to him.
Z after devil woman:
(Picture not included to protect the innocent)
-----Original Message-----
From: R
To: E
Sent: Feb 15, 2008 02:38:27 PM
Subject: FW:
They blocked me. Busch league
From: E
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 2:52 PM
To: R - Store 6579
Subject: RE:
Ohhhhh my gosh. I almost fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. You are killing me. I'm so glad I have your email address now for my daily dose of mope. That is pretty Busch League that you just got blocked. AND if someone doesn't respond to your rsvp then you are free to skip said event. It's an etiquette thing. Or just bring a really horrendous drunk as a date who will ruin her night and be a complete...I guess I cant say what I want to or we'll get blocked again.... hahaha. It's like an ad lib. you just fill in what you want it to say! So I guess my point is unless your conscious would bother you then you should totally skip it and entertain me at dinner hahaha. Good luck- and don't do anything to ruin your friendship....;)
-----Original Message-----
From: R
To: E
Sent: Feb 15, 2008 03:27:57 PM
Subject: RE:
Apparently you can say absolutely anything to me, and I can say anything to a _________ _________ person, but God forbid I say something dirty to someone that doesn’t work for my company. My anger stems from last night when I was attempting to write an email to 20 guys regarding a bachelor party I’m planning. It took me a solid 30 minutes to figure out which word was getting blocked. Turns out, it was “n^de”. I mean of all the bad things I could say, “n^de”! And it wasn’t even my word, it was an Old School quote. I 100% agree on your stance on the rsvp. But I’ll go, like an idiot. I despise my conscience.
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