Thursday, September 24, 2009

Old Emails Are the Jam

So you know how sometimes you make bad decisions with a specific someone and people start to question the status of those decisions? That's what this delicious email I found in my archives is about..

From: E's very professional email
To: D's very professional email; K's very professional email
Subject: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...

Since every time I talk to the 2 of you, you seem convinced HE and I are dating I have decided to compile a list of reasons we are NOT in fact dating. Mainly because I don't feel like working but also because, well, we aren't dating.
1. Married Mope on a Wednesday night in my FACE.
2. He told D I was a "good friend".
3. He has never actually asked me on a date. That's kind of a big deal.
4. He shaved his chest for the first time since I have known him in anticipation of heading to South Carolina for the weekend. Obviously he plans on mope slaying this weekend which would explain why he keeps acting like I shouldn't be going to SC.
5. One minute he's affectionate and the next he acts like he doesn't even know me. That's just weird.
6. He actually sometimes mentions that he is a mope slayer to me. Like I should be impressed.
I think those are pretty solid reasons. The shaving the chest thing is kind of weird to me for some reason. Let me know your thoughts.

From: K's very professional email
Sent: Thursday, September 11, 2008 9:29 AM
To: E's very professional email
Cc: D's very professional email
Subject: Re: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...

1. That was retarted but he seriously did it b/c he may have been wanting you to stop him....hince the long pause....etc...
2. D knows better
3. He picked you up, paid, etc....ALL 25 yr old adults know what a date is
4. Really??
5. He's moody
6. Has this been witnessed??? D???

From: D's very professional email
To: K's very professional email; E's very professional email
Sent: Sep 11, 2008 09:39:57 AM
Subject: RE: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...

1. yeah E….why didn’t you stop him?
2. I think you are just making things up. I don’t remember him telling me that
3. good point K
4. this nothing to do with you and him, but I just lost all respect for him because of the chest thing.
5. moody when sober so keep him loaded
6. all lies. He must have been high when he told you that

From: E's very professional email
Sent: Thursday, September 11, 2008 9:46 AM
To: K's very professional email; D's very profesional email
Subject: RE: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...
1. Why is it my job to stop him? Shouldn't he respect me enough NOT to even want to do that in my presence? Or even at all come to think of it.
2. D you told me that when you were in town. You might have been saying that to try to hook up with me though. You know you wanted to. I'm sorry you had to settle for Scooby.
3. I don't like your point K. I don't like you agreeing with K, D.
4. REALLY! I was sitting in his room yesterday thinking it was taking him entirely too long to get ready for a softball game and he was in there shaving his chest hair. I know this because there is chest hair all over the sink now and because I woke up this morning and he has no chest hair anymore. I think that is weird and I am glad D has lot respect for him due to his primping. 5. I can't keep him loaded ALL the time. Trust me I've tried!
6. I have never been with him when he has gotten high so that is not possible.

From: D's very professional email
To: E's very professional email; K's very professional email
Sent: Sep 11, 2008 10:07:40 AM
Subject: RE: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...

Sorry Erin, I don’t hook up with my friend’s girlfriend. It’s a rule

From: E's very professional email
Sent: Thursday, September 11, 2008 10:11 AM
To: K's very professional email; D's very professional email
Subject: RE: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...

I am not and never have been his girlfriend so that point is moot. I'm glad that's a rule though. I have much respect for you now. I like how that is the only point you felt a need to clarify.

AND...this just occurred to me. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TRY NOT TO DISCUSS OUR LAST PHONE CALL WITH THE TWO GAYEST BOBS EVER WHEN YOU ARE BLACKOUT THIS WEEKEND. Seriously. Please.

From: D's very professional email
Sent: 09/11/2008 10:19 AM
To: E's very professional email; K's very professional email
SubjectRE: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...

Are ya’ll coming to the big city this weekend?

From: K's very professional email
To: D's very professional email
Cc: E's very professional email
Sent: Sep 11, 2008 10:23:21 AM
Subject: RE: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...

I am not, E????????????????????


From: E's very professional email
Sent: 09/11/2008 10:36 AM
To: K's very professional email; D's very professional email
SubjectRE: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...



I have not decided whether or not I am heading there. No ticket, place to stay etc. Though I feel like I got a BILLION calls last night telling me I need to just wing it and head that way after work. But it's one thing to wing staying over in Athens for the weekend and another to do it in Columbia. And D you didn't promise me you'd keep your mouth shut...

From: K's very professional email
Sent: Thursday, September 11, 2008 10:50 AM
To: E's very professional email
Cc: D's very professional email
Subject: RE: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...

I am partial to you staying here so you can hang out w me at Corts...but I also want you go and be w him...he needs you for support right now (whether he says it or not). I am worried about him holding all this in......he could really make some bad decisions- and you know that you can stay w C or whatever

From: D's very professional email
To: K's very professional email; E's very professional email
Sent: Sep 11, 2008 11:07:35 AM
Subject: RE: Reasons He and I are NOT dating...

I’ll keep him in line! Staying with C seems like a really good option for you Erin. Didn’t you hook up with him last weekend or something??????

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