Cumming

Remember how I bitched about The Commercial Banker and his text about cumming in my face? No, don't read anymore. Instead, go here and read this rant and then come back.

Caught up?

Okay, great.

Recently, the Ego Booster and I have entered what I suppose is the next stage of our long distance whatever: SEXTING.

It started out innocently enough with a comparison of who had a comfy bed. Which of course, I do. And of course, I'll share with the right person at the right time (as in whoever Mr. Right Now happens to be).  As one would expect, this is slowly progressed to hinting about sex. To straight up talking candidly about it.

And then came the unexpected:

"Oh wow, that was a nice dream. I made a mess on you. Going back to bed now."

Yeah, take a moment to process that. The nice guy who took care of me when I was completely out of control, cuddled with me but was nice enough not to put the moves on me since my grandmother had passed away and took me out to breakfast before I left town wants to MAKE A MESS ON ME?

Wtf is up with you guys? We're not goddamn fire hydrants and you're not fucking dogs marking your territory. Why the obsession with cumming ON US?

The more interesting thing to me is I didn't immediately terminate all conversation with him. In fact, I called him on it. Whereas with the commercial banker, I told him he was an asshole and deleted his number. With ego booster, I shot him a text in the am that said:

"Well that was an interesting text to wake up to. I hope you cleaned up after yourself ya jerk."

Ego Booster felt terrible (or made it seem like he did).

EB: Yeah that was a little much. Sorry Berryfine. It won't happen again.
B: Which part?
EB: Falling asleep and waking up to text you results of my dirty as can be dreams. 
B: So you'll continue to make a mess of me in your dreams?
EB: Yeah, I'm sure I will. You don't need to read about it first thing in the morning.
B: Well I guess at least you enjoyed your dream

The rest of the morning, he spent his texting apologizing and offering me everything from doing chores around my apartment to cooking for me to massages. I guess he saw the window of opportunity was about to slam shut and was trying to slow it enough to hop on through.

But seriously, can ANYONE explain to me the fascination with men and marking us with their cum? Ego Booster didn't even attempt to explain though he was suitably grossed out when I put it in context for him. When I explained it's not fun to take a cum shot to the face. And referred to myself as a cum receptacle. I think that about did it for him.

Any theories out there?