Twitter Tuesday

Okay, okay, okay...I'm fucking back. It's going to be slow ramping up but I promise I'll be kicking ass and taking names within a week. Boom, there's a promise.

Anyway, we're jump starting this with a find that someone else sent me. Check out this week's Twitter Tuesday Star:
@textsfrommyXes


The tag line sucks you in...if you're a girl: "We wish these were fictional. Sadly, we're not as desperate as our counterparts." Hahaha....except I'm the desperate, crazy one. Damnit.

• I threw up last night and it made me realize how much I miss you. Can we get dinner this week?
• My latino heat may be too much for you to handle now and ur probably going to want to kiss me.
• I wish you would stop expecting me to do the the things I say I'm going to do.
• i hope u didnt like any of ur vases. or anything else u left in this house. bc i'm going to start posting ur shit on craigslist right now.
• Whatever. I'll go drown my sorrows in my cant hardly wait dvd. When me from the 8th grade believed he could be happy.
• I am staring at some condoms and just thinking about how lucky you would be if you were here right now.
• what do you weigh these days? Feel free to send me a motivational pic of your ass like last time.
• P.S. we both know a sweet guy was never what you were looking for
• Wore a pair of your underwear to work today. Hope that's ok. Call me.
• Do you have adderal that I can get? I'll pay you in kisses.
• I add imaginary exclamation points to your texts so it seems like youre excited to talk to me.
• why'd you have to go and get so hot after we broke up. now i really do feel like a fuck up. #hater
• why dont you just do the world a favor and stay single
• I just drove by your work and honked. Did u hear it? I hope that made u smile.
• so wait are we just taking a few weeks off? not to be a dick but i want to start having sex again. but its not like i need it right away