WTF Wednesday

Okay, I think I've made it pretty clear I hate my neighbors. I mean, I don't hate them. I just wish that maybe they were a little more considerate of their neighbors. Maybe thought about shit before they did it. How it might affect those that share their little corner of the world.

But of course they don't.

Take Norman*. Norman is the douchebag who lives in the building across from my and drives a Pontiac Grand Am or some shit with sweet hubs.

Anyway, our apartment buildings have covered parking. When I moved in, Michael, the guy who works for the management company, told me they were first come first serve. However, so as not to incite the ire of a tenant who'd called our complex home for far longer than I, I parked in the uncovered parking lot. I was scouting the parking spots- checking to see which ones were routinely open and which ones were claimed by tenants. After a month of living there my neighbor across the hall came by and told me our building had a parking spot for each apartment in the covered parking area. One of the two spots below my apartment was actually mine to use as I pleased. Apparently the owner of the building had been by and the guy had flat out asked him.

So, I began to park in the spot designated mine. And I never had a problem. Sure occasionally, someone would park there for a night but for the most part the neighbors respected my space and I respected theirs.

Until Norman (say it as Seinfeld said Newman).

This douchebag parks in my space for 5 DAYS and does not move his fucking car the entire time. On top of that, he doesn't event live in our building. After 2 days, I drafted a nice note:

Dear Driver:


The covered spaces in this building are designated for tenants of the building. Each space belongs to one of the two apartments above it. As such, you are currently parked in my space. I understand that someone else parked in your usual space but I would hope you would have enough respect for your neighbors not to park in someone else's space. Per the owner of this building, this space is designated to building 14 apts 12 or 14. 


Thanks!

He didn't move it until that Friday afternoon. How do I know the car never moved? Well the note was there on Friday when I got home from work. I doubt he drove around town all week with the note on his car.

Asshole.

The next Friday I get home with a note on my car. Norman would like for me to know that he knows I keyed his car. EXCUSE ME?

He parked in my spot and I spent a week parking in an uncovered spot so as not to take someone else's spot and left a polite note asking him not to park there and he thinks I KEYED HIS FUCKING CAR?

My issues with this:

1. I left a nice note on your car. I wasn't a bitch about it. I didn't complain to management. I simply asked you to refrain from taking my spot. Ho does that relate to keying your car?
2. The dipshit at management he references is the same Michael who told me the spots are first come first serve. Who would you believe? The owner or the management company? On top of that as I've reported the same fire alarm issue since August and he's done nothing about it I doubt he has a clue what the fuck he is talking about. He forgot to mention that I needed to contact the post office and pay $28 to get keys to my mailbox as well. Clearly the guy is a fucking idiot with no clue how to do his job.
3. In the email Norman received from Michael in reference to his car being keyed, Michael misspelled ridiculous. REDICULOUS. Spell check is standard on email these days. I'm less apt to believe anything you say if you misspell ridiculous.
4. The email you sent management about the note on your car was prior to you parking in my spot. Aka I couldn't have been the first person whose spot you took. Also, you should maybe leave this note for the person who actually left you the note on the day in question. I guess when you jack that many parking spots it is hard to track who could have left a note.
5. Oh hey, you live in building 12 not 14. Why don't you try parking in those spots.
6. Your state tag says ChiCubs. You want me to take you seriously? Ditch the fucking vanity plate. Schmuck.
7. Who the fuck keys a Pontiac?
8. Also, I took pictures of your car when you left me that note. Not a key mark to be found. Nice try asshole. 

I was pretty pissed when I got the note (can you tell?). I actually drafted a scathing reply but then decided it was in my best interest to leave it the fuck alone. Since his car was keyed he has not taken anyone's spot. In fact, he now parks his car for days on end in the uncovered parking lot. So I guess that is a win for me.


*Name has not been changes to protect the douchebag.