UH OHHHHH

Why did I contact Lucky Charms when everything went so disastrously wrong with my Ego Booster/70s Throwback?

He said all the right things.

From the wrong place.

And now, I am meeting him and sharing a hotel room in September for a long weekend. This has TROUBLE written all over it!

Operation Kick My Ass And Make Him Kiss It Day 2

Still feeling very motivated about working out. Especially since awesome sauce converse wearing idiot decided commenting and liking everything I did on facebook today was necessary. I'm also proud of day 3 of not speaking to him at all. Go me! Hey, it's the little things in life, ya know?

So I woke up this morning and did 25 minutes of Pilates. It was a tape but it is free and it got me going.

I followed this up with one egg with another egg white scrambled with some cheese and turkey.

2 hours later, I enjoyed a waffle with nutella. A special treat to reward myself for a stressful morning at work.

I followed this up with a couple of slices of turkey a few hours later. Yeah, I may need to go shopping.

Around 4 pm, I chowed down on a cup of pasta tossed in olive oil with goat cheese, 5 shrimps and peppers and onions mixed in. It was fucking delicious.

Right before hitting the gym, I nibbled on a Fiber One bar- peanut butter and chocolate chip of course.

Walked over to the gym after putting in 12 hours at work and did a cardio rotation. 20 minutes each on the treadmill, bicycle and elliptical before walking back home.

I sure would like something to cap the night off but I can't think of anything small I have around the house and payday is tomorrow. I may have to have a cup of hot green tea?

Sometimes, I scare myself with how healthy I can be. Hoping to hit the store tomorrow and pick up veggies and fruits. That will round everything out.

This was my inspiration while working out at the gym...Take it as you will.

Also, anyone ever done a cleanse? One of the trainers at my gym is strongly encouraging it and I'm considering it.

This Sums It Up...

The Chorus anyway. This is how I feel after dealing with the 70s Throwback who was once my Ego Booster. Bastard.



Christ, I hope Debbie Downer over here finds some new ass soon or you'll stop following out of sheer annoyance.

Shambles are Back in Style

I know Barbie just beat me to the punch (bitch) but whatever, Berryfine is back and ready to do damage. For 6 months, I've behaved (and for a stupid, omg are you fucking 15 years old reason) and it is time to get back to me.

In case you were confused, ME is that crazy bitch who drunk tweets and maybe makes bad decisions in public.

Me is that less than tactful "lady" who doesn't stand for bull shit and doesn't put her life on hold for an asshole who is going to stomp all over her heart with a total disregard for how she might feel when he does so. No, I'm not bitter. At all.

Me is the angry, disrespectful twit who stomps out of her apartment at 2 am to yell at a deaf guy for crushing cans.

Me is the girl hiding a tattoo on her foot for 2 years in creative and weird ways. Not because she is afraid of getting in trouble but because at this point it is like a fun little game.

Me is the depressed chic who is not positive and will never be positive and really wishes people would stop telling her to be more optimistic. Last I checked, no one finds my optimism endearing. They sure as shit enjoy laughing at my pessimism though. In fact, if I was happier people would hate me.

Me is a work in progress who one minute will be mature and responsible and the next will blow $100+ at a bar of money she doesn't have and then stumble home alone and strip in her doorway, leave the door open and pass out on the floor a mere foot from her bed.

And yeah I know ME IS is not an appropriate way to start a sentence but it makes a fucking point so you can get over it or stop reading now.

Whew, I feel better now.

Heartbreak Truly Is a Great Motivator

If you read Little Black Book or Life in Shambles, you have probably guessed that personal life has been less than stellar. And I mean that if you read those blogs before you came here.

In the last two weeks, my grandfather died and the guy I was talking to ended things after getting drunk and basically treating me with so little disrespect that I wonder if he was ever truly interested in me to begin with.

In two months, I will be back in my hometown and will have to see him again. This will be my first time seeing him since yesterday when he acted like nothing had ever happened. It will be my first return trip home since burying my grandfather and watching my family fall apart.

Today I marched into the gym and I looked at my trainer and I said NEW GOAL.

In two months, he won't have to wonder how I'm handling it. Instead, I will be fitter, happier and more confident than I was the past two weeks with him. My thighs will be strong, my arms will be lean and I will leave him wondering if he made a fucking mistake.

To that end, Gregg kicked my ass on legs tonight. We did squats, lunges, leg curls- heavy weights and lots of reps. He complimented me on how strong my legs are without having been doing anything with them. Then I hopped on the elliptical and did a cardio routine for 30 minutes and we discussed my diet. On Wednesday, I will head over to GNC and pick up protein powder and a cleanse.

Two months baby. I'll keep you updated on my progress during Operation Kick My Ass and Tell Him to Kiss It.

In honor of the stupid ass converse he insists on wearing no matter the occasion.

Monday Mess

And not the mess of cum on your face. Or hair.

Introducing, a new feature on Little Black Book. Every Monday, we'll round up great gems from around the interwebs- videos, blogs,news stories, whatever we find will be on the site. You can email suggestions to mylittleblackbook11@gmail.com as well.

• Proposition 8 (or Hate if you prefer) is heading back to court. And the judge is gay. Let the arguments for how biased he will be commence.
• In Dublin, PA a special education decided it was appropriate to give a student a sex toy. It's called integration. At least that is how I imagined she explained it to herself before handing a "sex device" to the special needs girl and sending her texts encouraging her to use it.
• Sugar Ray Leonard has come forward to reveal a harrowing story of sexual abuse in his past. This lovely site questions the validity of celebrity revelations involving abuse. And this is why no one comes forward.
• Looking for a juicy read? Pick up a copy of Life of the Party: A Political Press Tart Bares All. The first chapter starts with a woman discussing how some Jewish girls do give blowjobs. Well then, let the games begin. What I like about this book is that it calls out the Republicans for having raunchy sex themselves even as they sit on their high horses judging Democrats who do.
• You know how we go out with a hot guy and swear up and down we're not going to go home with him only to wind up blowing him in the car? Yeah, so does the Frisky. Check out their post on Dating from the viewpoint of your hormones. You can thank me later.
• Weinergate. Yes, people are calling it that. Did you hear that Weiner is having a mini-weiner? Not a joke. Also not a joke? This article explaining how Weinergate came about. I'm sorry did they just say this is social media's fault? Dude the guy is still a creep whether Twitter and Facebook existed or not.
• The next book you should buy? You know, after the one I just told you to check out? Jeremy Kost's It's Always Darkest Before Dawn. Apparently, blow jobs are actual the norm in NYC clubs. Why did I move away again?

That'll do it for this week, bitches and bros. Remember, if you stumble across a sexually related thing to share to shoot us an email because we want to be all over that cum-stain that looks like the Virgin Mary before anyone else is!

monday musings.

um. this blog has not been updated since march. and today i am feeling rather sassy and for sure woke up on the wrong side of the bed... so i feel that this makes for a great Monday musings. 

• guys are fucking lazy.  the boy that i am marrying never ever ever takes the empty pack of sodas out of the fridge. typically, i don't care. it effects him and his soda consumption (he drinks coke zero, me diet coke).  yet yesterday at some point he took the last diet coke and left the empty cardboard shell in the fridge.  so this morning i reach in for my "wake up don't be a bitch" juice and BAM there is nothing.  Therefore I am a bitch today.
• elevators. correct me if i am wrong, but those ON the elevator get off before those WAITING for it enter.  do we need to put signs outside of elevators? in my building, the answer is yes. yes we do.
• blue tooth ear pieces never were and never will be cool.  you look like a moron with a little blue light flashing out of your ear and you look moronic for talking to yourself.  and woman in the Mercedes.... your driving still sucks - you ran a stop sign and almost t-boned me.
• don't ever address an email to me saying "Greetings Barbie" .... you're not an alien you're a human.  Hello, Hi, Hey ... those are good options.  Greetings, yeah not so much.
• I feel like using twitter in a passive aggressive way sometimes. this morning, i did. it had to do with the "greetings" comment.
• why must i tell some people some things 4 million times?  listen to me. or is your life like 50 first dates and you just forget? shoot me in the face.
• back to this man that i am going to marry.  he also thinks the counter is a trash can. newsflash: it isn't.
• Atlanta. It is hot outside. Like air so thick you can't breathe hot. Hot weather makes me not very nice -- it is going to be a long summer.
• I hate how some people make some things so difficult.  I will leave it at that or I will type out a novel.
• Did you watch the Real Housewives Reunion last night?  That shit was bananas.  I could run over Gretchen and Alexis with my car and not feel bad about it.  Alexis set women back quite a bit by saying "a woman shouldn't be president" and that she "feels safer with a man running our country" ... but yet she would support her daughter if her daughter chose to run for president.  That woman is full of contradictions and bullshit.  She "waters" her marriage "like a rose garden" .... no moron you're in a controlling relationship with a dickhead husband.  Rawr.
• The reunion was following by the NJ Housewives and they new and improved version of Amazing Grace ... new lyrics "saved a wench like me"  ... another dumb bitch showing how dumb she is on national television.
• I do not feel like working today.  I took a lunch break.  Those things are amazing. They really break up your day.
• Um. Wedding planning.  So, I got this "brilliant" idea for the tables during cocktail hour.  I loved it.  God on the other hand, he did not.  Therefore the picture frames I am looking for, are no where to be found. 
• I have decided I hate pink and red nail polishes.  Or, maybe I just have not found a pink or red I like.  I do however love my putty clay looking color.
• Atlanta. Why do you have so many jay walkers ... and why do they decide to ONLY cross busy roads by foot not in crosswalks on roads like Peachtree Rd, Buford Hwy, Pleasantdale?!  Those roads my friends are BUSY.
• Speaking of wedding planning - the proof for our save the date just came.  Good lord those were expensive.  Everyone better ohh and ahh over it and tell me it is really cute.
• And ... more wedding planning.  I have cut some people off the guest list who are expecting invitations.  Whoops?  That will teach you to expect something. 
• I have the most unhealthy obsession with Etsy.  I need rehab. Or a freeze on my bank account.  STAT.

xoxo,
b

Where the fuck have I been?

Well, I was immersing myself in a new job and a new guy and suddenly blogging wasn't a priority for me anymore. My apologies for those of you who follow me but now that I've had my heart ripped from my chest, stomped all over and then run over by a bus before being put back into my chest I think I am ready to hop back on the train. Better than ever.

Stay tuned for updates cause Bitches I've got stories!