Today I really sat down and thought about my efforts to get healthy. And I considered my friends and family and how they have impacted that.
And I realized that making the decision to get healthy is a very very lonely endeavor in a sea of 20-somethings who have either given up any hope of liking their bodies, just don't give a fuck or already have great bodies and simply have to maintain. It is not that any of them don't support a decision by me to get healthier but many of them simply don't understand.
Say, "I look fat" to a skinny girl and she'll say NO YOU DON'T. Say it to a friend who weighs more than you and she'll say NO YOU DON'T. Simply put, they either don't want to agree with you or they really don't agree with you. In their eyes you aren't fat. And telling them that 180+ lbs on a 5'6" frame is considered overweight simply doesn't change that perspective.
Try going out to eat with you friends. I'm sorry but if fries are on the menu it literally KILLS me not to order them. And when everyone else is getting slices of pizza, streak slathered in blue cheese and covered in bacon and frothy adult beverages it is literally impossible not to make a bad choice as well. If someone orders something decadent I invariably end up doing the same. Even if to begin with my intentions were good.
A night on the town equals almost a thousand calories in booze and mixers. Considered the fun one by a majority of my friends, if I head out and am not downing shots and beers they immediately convince me to do otherwise. And quite frankly, being the sober one in a sea of drunkards is not much fun.
In the end, to achieve my goal, I have to take myself out of these detrimental situations. And that often means I miss out on fun times with my friends. Given the option to spend the day working out or sit on a patio drinking frozen beverages, 9 out of 10 of my friends will choose the second option. None of them are in the same get fit boat I am in and those that are starting to get healthy are going to yoga classes (which I cannot stand) or go to different gyms. I guess it is time to figure out who that one out of 10 is going to spend their day being active or eating healthy. And figuring out who has been supportive and who hasn't has been a very eye-opening experience this past week. A little bit of my frustration might stem from some hurtful comments I've had come my way from friends who don't understand my decisions.
What do you guys do for fun on the weekends? How do you work social activities into your get healthy routine? I am really struggling with this in the face of what my friends are up to.
5 comments:
i wish i had had this conversation with my 20 something self. i was caught in the exact same cycle. unfortunately i didnt give a shit enough to even try to fix it. i continued to smoke, booze it up, and eat crap. just think about how far ahead you will be when your friends are in their 30s trying to get their shit together healthwise and youve already fought that battle. youre doing great!!!!
LB thank you for that reminder! I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I will continue to fall down and have to get back up but knowing that I have issues to work through is half the battle. And working through them now while i have the time and the options will put me ahead of the curve later in life.
if you ever want to see people and do something active just call me. lord knows i need someone keeping me accountable. we can hit up stone mountain or piedmont park or play the wii (just dance! yeah!) ... and I understand the people "just not getting it" - kyle does not understand why i want to run. boo. AND -- skinny girl margaritas are the way to go and we can do our 9773 hour dinners, just minus the cheese dip! :o) I love you E! You just cant be prettier than me on the wedding day!
I pretty much cannot go to a restaurant with fries and NOT get them. They are my number 1 weakness, and my tummy shows it. But they are so damn good!
All of my friends where I live are married with children, so they never want to go do anything really. I guess that helps so then I don't have the temptation. During the week I just stay home alone and do my regular runs 2 nights after work. The weekend is harder. That's when the boyfriend and I are either at my house or at his and the temptation to eat bad is there. Fortunately he started running with me, so I have someone to join me, and someone that will also NOT drink on a Saturday night so that we can be fresh for Sunday.
But with all that said -- I am a terrible eater. My dream meal on vacation is pizza and fries. I'd eat grilled cheese and fries every day if I could. I think right now my biggest obstacle is myself. I have to learn to eat better.
Oh - and with going out with friends, I stopped partying when I started running and racing all the time. So now I'm a total lightweight, which I guess is good. I can have one drink - maybe two - then be done!
i totally understand the lonely feeling. working out and eating healthy starts to feel very lonely when people aren't on board with you. i went through this back in october when i was on a no-carb thing for a while. no matter how 'supportive' people were, they would still encourage me to skip workouts or eat something bad or go out drinking. it's hard to stay on a good path when you have people like that in your life. but like barbie said, i'm always down for a piedmont park walk, a stone mountain climb, or a healthy dinner somewhere. i have trouble staying on track too but there's strength in numbers, right? :)
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