NYE 2010

You know it's bad when this picture gets posted for the party you attended for NYE and you actually wonder if it might be you....

Only to discover, it cannot be you because you don't wear classy things like pantyhose. Or carry a clutch for that matter.

Thirsty Thursday

Drunk.

At work.

Hour late.

Hopefully in 2011 I'll still be employed.

This counts as a Thirsty Thursday post right? I mean I showed up to work late still drunk from the night before. And I fell down last night- evidence being the fucking scrap on my hand that hurts like a bitch!

Thankful Thursday

In honor of Turkey Day here are all the things I am thankful for.

• Clothing. Something has to cover the cellulite and stretch marks.
• Uggs. They may be ugly but damn if they aren't comfy.
• Wine. And wine glasses. And bottle openers for said wine.
• Beer. Kegs. Pint glasses. Power Hour. Pitchers.
• Football. Boys in tight pants playing with balls.
• Coolers. Keeping my booze cold. Great for bets. Also decent seating when in a crunch.
• People uglier than me. I know it's bitchy but don't even pretend like when someone less attractive than you is in the same room you don't secretly thank god for small favors.
• Liquor. Shot glasses.
• Bars. Somewhere everyone knows your name. Because you puked everywhere, took half your clothes off and went home with a rando.
• Hot boys. A girl can dream.
• Piedmont Park. I like to play with balls there.
• My blackberry. How the hell else would I get through the day? Who would entertain you with inappropriate or blatantly obvious tweets?
• Friends and Family. Because it's what everyone says. And someone out there probably listed me so this is really just to cover my bases.
• Mexican food. Feels so good going down...the next morning I may weigh 5 more lbs and feel like shit but damn last night was good.
• Other drunk people. This doesn't bear explaining.
• Sober people. For rides home, duh.
• Sweatpants. Ohhhh god I love sweatpants. There are even some guys who look sexy in them. Probably not any of my readers but don't fret, I don't look sexy in them either.
• Blogs like Barstool Sports, masshole sports, bulldog in exile, fired n fabulous,imboycrazy.com, Livit, Luvit and 8 billion other blogs I read every day (perhaps I should highlight one a week....hmmmm).
• The library. Every once in a while I need to get my dork on.
• The internet. dear Al Gore, thanks for helping me stalk people. Love Berryfine.
• My apartment. It's just me and my nudity whenever I hit the doorway. So delicious.

God, that's a lot of stupid, material shit to be thankful for. Your turn, what ridiculous shit are you thankful for that you're too embarrassed to say at the dinner table today? Don't worry, I won't judge.

Open Letter to Myself

Dear Self,

You are a mess. I know that sounds harsh but seriously, You. Are. A. Mess.

Exhibit A- Friday night. You arrive in Athens, down some Five Guys and begin drinking incessantly. Beer. Shots. Jack and Coke. More beer. You wandered around aimlessly. You texted and then never located a single person you were looking for. But hey, in the spirit of things, it was pretty cool that the door guy at Allgood pointed you out from the front of the line and let you cut in front of 50 people to get in. You may be a fuck up but you're a fuck up who knows people.

Exhibit B- After snatching 3 hours of sleep, you went to a tailgate. Then you went to another. And another. You barely ate all day. You drank more than should be humanly possible. You took ridiculous pictures of other people in their wasted state (hey nice going you, no ridiculous pictures of you floating around!). On the walk home from downtown, you decided your panties were bothering you so you ditched them. You passed out on the astro turf in front of a pop up tent that belonged to someone you met only hours prior. Nothing but class there.

These two events alone would be enough for me to say, "Hey girl...here is why you are single and in an hourly paying job!" but let us consider some other things. 1/2 of your friends are married, about to get married or in long term, committed, mature relationships. A third of the married are popping out babies if they haven't already. You paid off your credit card bills in April. One of them is 50 dollars from being maxed out, the other is 300 bucks from being maxed out. I could go on but I don't think depressing you is going to solve the problem.

Anyway, you really need to start making some positive changes. Maybe find something non alcoholic to commit to. I know it is tough as it is football season but you've got to try. If nothing else, being aware of the problem is the first step toward a solution. In the great words of Corey Smith, "Maybe next year, I'll start acting my age". Perhaps a new mantra?

Love always,
Your Self

I'm Not Enough

Soooo... I've been following a few blogs now and I suddenly came to the realization that I am simply not ENOUGH. I know you think my self esteem has taken a hit but honestly, some people are deep and some people are funny. I think I can be both but it is not translating to this blog for some reason.

I think when I try to be deep I come across as whining about something. I don't like whiners. I like whining. Which is completely hypocritical. Which is something else I hate. I think I may actually hate myself if I became friend's with myself. How deep is that?

When I try to be funny, I curse too much, I laugh too loud and I try to hard. I think it is evident. Despite graduating from UGA with a degree in journalism, I don't think my strength is in writing. I believe it may be in story telling. In person, I am pretty entertaining (just ask the bachelorette party I went to last weekend).

Also, how funny is a drunk? I think if you are going to be a drunk, you can't really be deep. I mean you can but you can't because no one will listen to you and everyone will call you crazy.

I have come to the conclusion that to be a part of a blog you have to choose a hole and become that peg (which to me sounds so DIRTY but to others might sound deep). You really do have to pick one facet of yourself and stick with it. I am too indecisive. If someone reviewed my blog or even my life they would say I skip around and I can't pick a theme, a personality, a style or even a path to follow. I feel as though I should apologize for it but I feel as though I shouldn't.

I don't even know what I was trying to say with this blog. And rather than making me feel better, I think it has just depressed me. Time for a glass of wine.