Imma Flirt

Today has been an awkward and strange day though I suppose it began with last night since I had a bad feeling while celebrating as much-deserved (and needed) kickball win. You know that saying, be careful what you wish for? Well, I tend to be cognizant of it at all times because when I wish for sex with hot guys I may get it…once. And never see, hear or speak to them again. And if I wish for a relationship, well, I get the kinds the girl has no interest in…a puppy dog doormat of a boyfriend or the kind that can maybe fit me into his life in his own good time and has no clue he is hurting me in the process. Now, I have wished for people to find me attractive so I have been working the ass off (literally) and eating right in an effort to get healthy and my opinion more attractive.

Some might say it’s paid off; my guy friends Jeremy and Joe have been noticing my efforts and commenting on it. Random guys do stop to talk to me or tell me I look nice. And I’m being noticed for more than my great eyes (which are pretty spectacular if I do say so myself). Unfortunately for me, it means that my flirting ways are getting me into some jams I have no idea how to get out of…well, in a mature, spare-the-other-person’s- feelings kind of way.



Today, I worked out at the gym per usual and then hit up the smoothie bar for my after shower Lean Body protein shake. After flirting with the too young for me but very cute desk guy, Travis, and the too old for me but very hot married gym crush I went out to my car to find a business card stuck in my door. I’ve never seen someone do advertising like this but I grabbed the card, threw it in my car and drove to work. Well, I just looked it over and realized it was not an advertisement, but the contact information for a guy at my gym. When I first started going to the gym, he was training with my friend Cassandra a few times a week and tipping the scales at an alarming 300+ lbs. He has lost a lot of weight and it is very noticeable so the other day I mentioned to him how great he looked. Mainly because I love hearing how well I am doing on the weightloss train. Apparently, he has taken this to mean I must have an interest in him when, in fact, I was just trying to be nice. And what response did he expect from a business card anyway?!?!?!

Then last night, my IT guy text me and said call when you are done with kickball. No dummy, I text back “what’s up”. To which he says no rush just call. Damn. So I just don’t call him back. It totally helped that my blackberry died while out for beers. So just now I get a text saying he cried himself to sleep last night. LOL. I’m not going to lie, I hate LOL. HATE IT. I used to make fun of my brother’s girlfriend because she used it so much. I can actually see her saying it out loud in every day conversations repeatedly. Anyway, I explained that I’m bad about calling people back and I was busy and my phone died. Then I again asked what’s up. For someone who never knows guys that like her until it’s too late to backpedal or make a move, I felt like I was doing pretty good. He texted back that he had something he wanted to ask me but we could talk later. FUCCCKKKK. The fact of the matter is, I work in an office alone half the day and I get bored. I like talking to anyone and I like making new friends. I figured this is where this was going…

Just by being nice and talking to people, I’ve heard that I’m a flirt and now I guess I have some proof. Between Block, Business card guy and IT guy I’m overwhelmed and thinking maybe weighing a little more and avoiding come ons isn't so bad after all! I'm not sure how to disengage myself from these sticky situations. I don’t even realize I’m flirting or if I do I figure it’s pretty harmless. So, what the hell do I do?

Has your flirting gotten you into a jam? How do you handle unwanted advances? I’m so inept at this I need some lessons!