Drunken Sexy Time

I've already admitted to a propensity to get rip-roaringly drunk and fuck my friends. The key word here is friends before any of you randos start getting any ideas. I've been asked repeatedly about Lucky Charms since mentioning him in conjunction with this so I'm going to do my best to piece together a night I have half forgotten and half denied for some time.

Lucky Charms and I were friends in college. In fact, I really didn't know him that well at first. All I knew of him could be summed up in this one sentence: he and my college roommate made out one time by a lake.

Slowly, after breaking up with The First, Lucky Charms and I began hanging out. During this time, we'd get incredibly fucked up and I would watch in amazement as he brought home A-Level talent to bang for as long as he like (a few one night stands, a few month-long flings). I mean here was a guy who weighed at least 15-20 lbs less than I did and was tall and gangly with angular features who was bringing home girls who were Playboy's local talent level caliber pieces of ass.

I began telling everyone that he had Lucky Charms in his pants for that was the only explanation I could think of. He was in a frat, got high and drunk every day and seemingly had no real aspirations beyond the next fuck.

Fast forward to 2009, he is living in Charleston with a solid job on the fast track to management. He'll have his pick of where he will go with his career. He's working out, has a sweet dog and is not quite the manwhore he once was. One of our mutual friends and I decided to go spend Valentine's Day weekend in Charleston for a visit and we have a blast. A few of our other friends happen to be in town as well and we just get drunk, act silly, cuddle and generally have a great time. No worries about makeup or clothes because there wasn't time for it.

He came into town a few months later and got royally pissed off when I refused to travel the hour to meet up with him. The day before he was set to leave, he called me and basically begged to see me. So i threw on some clothes and headed to Athens (scene of a majority of my drunken hookups). At the time I had no intention other than going to see some buddies I hadn't seen in a while.

The night took a dramatic turn for the weird, crazy,utterly fantastic sexual after a few shots.

You see Lucky Charms and I have always been pretty flirty. Touchy feely. People always assume we have had sex (an exact opposite of the assumptions about me and Dr. Pothead). At this point we hadn't but a long walk home in some dangerously high heels would change all that.

Somewhere along the hike we ended up way far behind the rest of the group. My memory is hazy but I think I had to stop and take off my slutty platform heels so I could actually walk at a pace faster than a crawl. The rest of the group kept going but Lucky Charms, gentleman that he is, stayed behind and even carried my shoes for me. We were joking around, acting silly and somehow ended up holding hands.

At some point, I must have teased him about how his lucky charms hadn't worked for that night because the next thing I know, he grins and says:

"That's what you think."

Before SLAMMING...I mean SLAMMING me into the wall and kissing the hell out of me. The kind of kiss they talk about in romance novels that you always wonder if they really happen? Yeah, that one. Just pushed me into the wall, dropped my shoes and ran his hands up and down my body.

Thinking about it now has me turned on.

We must have made out against that wall for at least 30 minutes. And, man oh man, it is still my top kissing moment ever (and I've had some crazy ones).

At some point, one of us (I'm assuming him) came to our senses and we headed back to the townhouse we were crashing at. Where the pals were nice enough to leave us the guest bedroom...

Where, I'm assuming we got it on (judging from my patent-pending sex test) because I woke up with no pants on at about 8 am.

And I flipped. I snuck out of there as quickly as I could find my shorts, shoes and purse (which took far longer than it should have). I was so lucky no one woke up to me leaving. I ended up texting him 30 minutes down the road and saying something came up at home.

To say he was pissed is putting it mildly. Looking back at it now, he was probably hurt. What kind of friend spends the night fucking you and then sneaks off like a thief in the night. Or maybe it's the romantic in me hoping that my slipping out without so much as a good bye broke his heart.

Which could be a direct result of his last visit and the ridiculous Christmas texts I have yet to share with you...

Hump Day Hotties

I've been giving a lot of love to the Northern boys in the past Hump Day Hotties so I decided to switch it up and give you a Southern boy. He's got a sweet name, Topher, is into music and has questionable taste in clothing. But whatever, everyone has their faults and if you bag this gentleman I'm sure you could take him shopping somewhere that doesn't sell Ed Hardy knockoffs.

Look Topher, I'm not trying to be a bitch but if you're going to post shirtless pictures on facebook I'm going to need you to hit the gym. I'd fuck you, if I was drunk. Why? Because sober I'd feel like a beached whale next to you. I'm giving you a 7. Ladies?

The Career Booster

So I was trolling my favorite love site, WTF is Up with My Love Life, when I saw the gaggle list to the side. You know, I've reviewed my gaggle with you guys before but that was so 2010. So today, I reread the list they had on the sidebar and realized I've added to my gaggle in the form of the Career Booster.

I started a new job in October and it has been HELL. An awesome hell as I'm doing things I never thought I'd be able to do but hell nonetheless. Enter Vendor Boy (who is slightly offended I call him that). Vendor boy works for an insurance company we do business with and he is my go-to guy when I don't know what the fuck I am talking about. Which is frequently. He lives half way across the country but he helps me out tremendously. So much so that when I sent out Thanksgiving cards from our company I included an extra special thank you to him for his help. Basically, at the current time I would not have a job if it weren't for him.

Why do I say this?

Well the business we do with them is pretty complicated. Especially for someone like me who majored in journalism and is now working in finance. I know this might come as a shock to you but I do not fully understand anything I currently do. Enter vendor boy with his unending patience for my ridiculous questions and his sense of humor to help me get through every crisis I seem to encounter (and there are multiples of those of my making). Plus he sends me goodies. It's so nice getting presents from a guy (as pathetic as it sounds since it's my vendor).

But my favorite part about Vendor Boy? The way he answers the phone when my number pops up. Like he is genuinely happy to hear from me. And he always does his best to cheer me up and tell me I am good at my job (when probably we both know I'm not).

Stay tuned for an update on Lucky Charms, another delicious member of the Gaggle!

Monday...day of Procrastination

I went to bed early last night in hopes of getting a solid 8 hours of sleep (I did). But when the alarm clock went off, I checked the weather and saw 27 degrees. YIKES. No way I was getting out of my comfy bed and going for a run. First mistake right there. Yes, I need to know the temperature to prepare for my run, but I need to get up and move before I ever check. This way, I am already up and might as well get going. So, then I told myself, I would work out at lunch. Yeah, then my boss and her kids showed up and needed some stuff done so that went out the door. Then I thought to myself, I will work out after work. Nope, my vendor called to chat and I had a story that I was late turning in so I worked on that. By the time that was done, I was starving and in no way focused on a work out. So I came home and made dinner. Popped a dvd in and decided today would be one of my days for wight lifting.

Tomorrow, I have to get up a RUN. Sheesh.

In other news, I'm just broke enough that losing weight might not be that difficult as I won't be able to afford food for the month. Today I had a bowl of oatmeal, a PB& J sandwich, the last of some crackers and some pasta. Oh and an apple. No veggies. Maybe tomorrow.

How are your resolutions going so far? Any tips for getting my ass out of bed and into gear in the am?

NYE 2010

You know it's bad when this picture gets posted for the party you attended for NYE and you actually wonder if it might be you....

Only to discover, it cannot be you because you don't wear classy things like pantyhose. Or carry a clutch for that matter.

An Atlanta Thrasher for You

How old is a cougar? And how young can she date?

I was once told it is acceptable to date down to 1/2 your age plus 7 which for me at this moment in time (because I get older in a week) is 20 years old. Which means this guy I just discovered while sitting at the Thrashers game is totally acceptable for me to boink:

Not surprisingly I cannot locate shirtless pictures of him. WTF? Must be that whole playing on ice thing. Anyway, say hello to Thrashers defenseman Zach Bogosian. Who I got really excited about until I realized he was only fucking 20 years old.

Also not surprisingly, his wikipedia has almost no information on him. Whatever, I will continue to fantasize about him whenever I damn well please. I may even become a puck chaser.

Hello 2011

Going from Fat 2 Fab has not gone as well as I hoped since I began this 2 years ago so here we go starting over AGAIN. I keep hoping for an epiphany that really sticks but people can I be honest here for a minute? Of course, I can. If I wasn't you'd be annoyed by me. In all honesty, you hit a point where you're like well I worked hard for a while and didn't have much to show for it and I really want that fucking large pizza with pepperoni and jalepeno's. If I'm not going to be skinny when trying to be healthy I might as well be fat and enjoy myself. And I have hit that point, despite still weighing 10 lbs less than I did at this point last year (175 1/1/10 v 165 1/1/11). Maybe it is turning 27 in a week but I'm just frustrated I haven't found something that works for me that I, with my lack of discipline, can stick with. Anyway, pity party over. Here we go again:

New Year's Resolutions:

1. Run 4 days a week at the minimum
2. Eat at least one serving of veggies and one serving of fruits a day (this will be the hardest)
3. Get 8 hours of sleep a night
4. Lift weights at least 2 days a week
5. Blog more!

So, you're turn. Tell me what your New Year's Resolutions are!

Also, since no one really participated in my last giveaway and the hat thing hasn't occurred yet because I blew the money on sporting events (which I will share with you in future post), I have a new giveaway! I got an iTunes gift card for Christmas and need some new running tunes. The winner of the giveaway gets a $10 iTunes giftcard to buy their own music with! To enter:

1. Become a follower (1 entry)

2. You're already a follower? Cool (2 entries for you)

3. Tell me about your New Year's Resolution (1 entry)

4. Tell me your favorite running song (1 entry)

5. Share this giveaway on your blog, facebook, twitter, whatever (1 entry)

6. Become a follower of me on facebook (2 entries)

So there you have it- tons of opportunities to win this giftcard. I expect a lot of love for this giftcard. And by love I mean, comments. Because I thrive off the comments, yo! You have until January 9th at midnight to enter. I will choose a winner on Monday, January 10 and announce it in that day's blog.