No Place Like the Bed of a Truck

Do you have a place you go just to get laid? I don't intentionally go to mine, but every time I have gone to a particular bar (which I plan to cover in a different post) I always end up going home with someone.

Or just as far as the car.

The Whatever and I had been, well....whatever for a while when we decided to go into downtown Atanta from his townhouse in the burbs. We met up with some of his buddies and got dinner and watched the Arizona State- UGA football game. Then we went and caught Who's Bad. We won the game and The Whatever and I were TRASHED. At the end of the night, we had lost the group and thought we would just go grab his keys from the valet and figure it out from there. Unfortunately, we thought wrong.

The valet had closed up shop and left a sticker on the car stating we would need to pick our keys up at 11 am the following morning.

Not that I remember any of this.

You see I woke up at 8 am fucking FREEZING with the sky above me and NO FUCKING PANTS ON.

NO PANTS ON!?!?!

I immediately did the Did I just have Sex last night check and discovered.... Yes, Yes I did.

I woke up in the bed of The Whatever's Toyota Tacoma with no fucking pants on, shivering my ass off in the back parking lot of a fucking bar.

Yes, yes, I am a slut.

The best The Whatever and I can figure is we got back and discovered we couldn't get his keys (where the fuck would we have gone anyway?) and then I ran through my phone for friends in Atlanta. None of who picked up that were willing or able to drive. We decided we would sleep in the bed of the truck and get the keys when the valet showed up in the morning. Well... I don't know if you've ever tried sleeping in the bed of a truck but let me tell you...

IT'S NOT FUCKING COMFORTABLE. AT ALL.

And I was horny. And drunk enough not to give a shit where we had sex or who saw me. Hell, he could have stripped me in the bar and I would have said, "Yes, please, may I have another."

From the random, black out flashbacks that have returned to me slowly, we tried cuddling as comfortably as possible and then after a few minutes decided we might as well take advantage of this ridiculous situation and fuck. So... we did. It was messy and so not comfy and I think in the end I had to ride him to hell and back so we could finish. I had bruises on both knees and elbows (apparently we tried doggy style?). But damnit, I know for a fact that I am the only girl my Whatever has fucked in the bed of a truck in the back parking lot of a bar. Classy? Not so much. Memorable (even through a drunken blackout)? Fuck yes.

So you're probably wondering how that story ended, huh? Turns out the valet doesn't return to that parking lot. And you can't get the keys from the location he does go to until 11. We ended up at Ihop trying to sleep in a booth and giggling because we had sex in a parking lot and didn't get caught. Then we got kicked out of Ihop and had to return to the truck to wait 2 more hours. Then we realized we didn't know where the fuck the keys would be. Two hours later we figured it out and walked a mile to get the keys and a mile back to the truck. Suffice to say after we drove 30 minutes home, we crashed in his bed and then ordered chinese and a movie.

Have you broken in the bed of a truck before? Sex in a parking lot? Would you be embarrassed by this story or ashamed (I'm fucking ecstatic. I think it's awesome.)?

Rough Sex is Fun....Until You End Up With a Bruised Nipple

Seriously, Lora Leigh has me thinking the ONLY way to go at sex is rough. Slaps to the ass. Bite marks. Scratches. It sounds so damn hot. I crave it. It must happen.


Hard. Fast. Harder.


It is absolutely great to have rough sex. In fact, I recommend getting a little wilder than normal at least once a week. Cause changing shit up is important in a sexual relationship.


Here is my issue: a bruised and slightly battered vagina is one thing. It reminds you that you had damn good sex at some point. A bruised nipple? Not so much. The thing is a bruised nipple kind of sneaks up on you. It's not like he caught your nipple in his teeth and you thought, "Ouch" and then later it was purple and hurt. No a bruised nipple just suddenly happens. One moment you are loving the attention your man is laving on your nipple, and the next you want him to be anywhere but at your breast. And, of course, being a man, he wants to be at your nipple. And your vagina. Simultaneously if possible.

But then, after all that hardcore, hair-pulling, biting, scratching sex...your nipple HURTS. It's purplish and always distended. You'd have to pad your bra with a pillow to hide the fact so its almost like your nipple is in a constant state of arousal and the world knows it. Everything that touches it hurts- ice, water, silk sheets. And your thoughts center on your nipple. Much like the thoughts of a man center on his penis. It's like a broken record is spinning in your head "Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouuuuuucchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

And then I start to wonder, was the rough sex really worth it? Well, if I left bloody scratch marks on his back that are driving him crazy the day after then yes, yes it was totally worth it.