Conversations with my boyfriend...

So weird to say it- I have a boyfriend. And you're thinking to yourself, who the hell would admit to dating this crazy-ass chick. Let me tell you he is a nut job himself. Someone ought to commit him to an institution for even thinking he wants to date me. But he does, in fact, he insists. And I thought this text convo today perfectly conveys how this is going to work:

Me: OMG we cannot have sex.
Him: And why is this?
Me: Well now I know how to get an immediate response from you.
Me: I CANNOT be eskimo sister with that girl L.
Him: I'm sitting on the couch watching tv. And there is no such thing as Eskimo sisters just brothers plus if she slept with 70s throwback you would be anyway.
Me: 1. Fuck you. I'm working. 2. Yes, there is such a thing. Might have a different name but it exists. 3. She hasn't slept with the 70s throwback.
Him: But what if she did?
Me: That is a disgusting image. And I would have been there first so it isn't as bad.
Him: You're talking crazy talk right now.
Me: hahaha J brought it up. Cause we are eskimo sisters. Then we started running through the group and I had a panic attack.
Him: I'm going to yell at J.
Me: She's about to talk me out of BJs too.
Him: You should get back to work.

10 minutes later:
Me: Would you wear a mexican wrestling mask and speak spanish to me during sex if I asked you to?
Him: Sure.
Me: Hahahaah omg I am so out of control. J is not helping at all.
Him: I'm still down for it though.
Me: Hahaha idk if I could control my giggles but we should legit try.
Him: We're doing it.
Me: Omg I can't wait. You better prepare some sexy Spanish.
Him: Just the accent might be better. My spanish is more confused than sexy.

Yeah, I see why we're dating now.