Which is Worse: Cheating Edition.

Question:

Is it better for the other person if you only cheat once or to carry on an affair?

Where is this coming from? Well, I watched Closer yesterday and in the film, Julia Robert's Anna carries on an affair with Jude Law's Dan. She is married to Clive Owen's Larry and Dan is dating Natalie Portman's Alice. Larry comes home from a business trip to NYC and reveals to Anna he fucked a hooker. Anna feels compelled to tell him about her affair and a shitstorm of a fight ignites.

Anna: We do everything that people who have sex do!
Larry: Do you enjoy sucking him off?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: You like his cock?
Anna: I love it!
Larry: You like him coming in your face?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: What does it taste like?
Anna: It tastes like you but sweeter!
Larry: That's the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. They both cheated on each other so staying together would be stupid unless they got to the root of the problem. Could they ever get to it?

On one hand, if it's a one off and it never happened again then its a mistake, right? At least that's what I told myself when The First did it to me.

But what about the addage once a cheater always a cheater?

And an affair implies there is an emotional bond, a relationship outside of your own on top of the sex. Not only was he or she not happy with you in bed, the unhappiness seeped into every facet of your relationship so he or she found someone else to supply it. And then you wonder why did they stay?

I'm conflicted on both accounts. I don't think my jealous nature would allow me to forgive someone for cheating on me ever again, long or short term affair. I would be like Larry and want to know every detail- where, when, how, how often, why. Which is worse to you?

Internet Stalking Has Hit A New Low...

When you aren’t getting laid, there is nothing better than having a crush. Okay, sure sex in cop cars or hooking up on boats are pretty damn cool for one night stands but for the long haul crushes are what get you through the night. Stalking your crushes via the interwebs is even better.

As previously stated, I officially know my Gym Crush’s first and last name. On that level, I can no longer be considered a slut if I hook up with him. Armed with that information, I was able to use my handy dandy journalism skills to dig up some more deets on the muscled man who stars in so many of my fantasies. Since I know you loyal readers are wondering what is going on and like to be kept up to date, I thought I would share them with you all:

1. Homeboy has a brother. A what? A brother. You’re telling me there are TWO of my gym crush? Shit boi, tell me more. Well, Gym Crush just casually mentioned the brother so there was no way for me to casually dig up any more info on him. I wonder if he is as hot and dedicated to his body being a temple as Gym Crush is? Is he younger or older? Married or single?
2. He’s a family man and that was instilled in him by his Pops. His mom and dad own a trucking company here in Georgia and he’ll eventually inherit it (with my deductive reasoning skills, I think his brother must be younger). They’ve had the company for 25 years and with some sleuthing I was able to determine that they bring in between 3-5 million per year. The company employs 25 people according to their D&B. And I now have contact information through his work. And he’s listed as Sales Executive. Funny when you think he is covered in tattoos and piercings and getting business for the company (which his father cannot stand).
3. He’s heading to Panama City Beach next week. Yes, the Redneck Riviera. Boys Trip. Hmmm, might be time to rethink my vacation… What happens in Panama stays in Panama...
4. His wife’s name is Sandy.
5. He believes in honesty. As in, if his wife gets fat, he’ll leave her. So he told her so.
6. He attended the 14th Annual Tattoo Arts Convention in Atlanta in June. Where he got a tattoo on his torso. I’m going to spend my down time locating him through the 40+ vendors on the website. If I find a photo and post it here, someone ought to send me a prize.
   

Also, I’m pretty close to figuring out where he lives. For the sake of the blog. Just to see if I can do it. I’m not going to show up there and steal him out from under his wife. Like I could do that. But I would like to prove how fucking easy it is the learn EVERYTHING about someone just by searching the internet. And trust me, Gym Crush has an EXTREMELY common name so if I figure this out….well, private detecting might need to be my new calling.

You're Not a Slut If...

Welcome to the first round of You're Not a Slut If... kind of like You Might Be a Redneck If... but better because...well it's about sex. So clearly, it's better.

Anyway.

You're Not a Slut If... YOU KNOW HIS LAST NAME.




Obviously, if you were able to glean his last name then you put more effort into it. Let's be honest, SLUTS don't have time to learn last names. Plus their mouths are too full of dick to talk. Even if you managed to fuck him prior to knowing his last name, if you make the effort to find out before you walk out of the door then you are not a slut.

And he doesn't even have to tell you what it is. Feel free to rifle through his wallet, search for a diploma or listen real hard when he's talking to his friends who probably use his last name in salutations.

Today, I became not a slut with gym crush. Completely by accident I discovered his last name and I am damn happy that when we cheat I'll be able to google him. That's always important- the ability to internet stalk your sex partners.

How did I find out his name? Well, Gold's Gym had an issue with their internet so all their members were forced to sign in on a piece of paper. Luckily, I was running late to the gym and was able to scan the list for the Mike who walked in just ahead of me. Now, when I make my list, I can refer to him by his first and last name. Which is clutch to my Not Feeling Like a Slut strategy.

Oh Shit! We Got a Situation...

Yes, I just quoted "The Situation"...as in that douchebag from MTV's Jersey Shore who thinks he can rap for some reason. Yes, I love his song. It is so damn ridiculous and so many people can't even make it through one listen that I find it obnoxiously entertaining. Hey, you have Miley...I have The Situation.

Dear readers, please don't hate me for this but when I say, "Gym Crush and I are going to cheat on his wife." I'm just being honest. The body wants what the body wants. And fuck if I'm going to tell it that it can't have that hot piece of ass in it's bed if it wants it. Or anywhere else for that matter. What's that saying about opportunity knocking again?

Why am I telling you this?

Well, I took a little hiatus (as you could tell by my lack of postings) to go deal with some family shit and upon my return Gym Crush has been getting on the machines right next to me for his cardio workout. The gym is damn near empty, there are 200+ machines and he gets right next to me. And I can feel him glance over at me. A lot. I even caught him once.

And then today...BAM!

He has begun laying the foundation all cheatin' spouses lay, brick by brick like they are building model homes. It never fails.

Ashley Judd gets played by Greg Kinnear in Someone Like You.

That's right, he mentioned his marriage and how tired he was and how he almost got a hotel room last night instead of going home. Insert huge gasp here. I flat out asked if he and his wife were fighting...and he didn't say yes, but he didn't say no either. Masterfully played, he left me thinking he was in an unhappy marriage but too respectful to flat out admit he wanted out. How sorry I should feel for him!

"Your so easy to talk to. Not like my new cow."

"I just try so hard and I'm sure she doesn't mean to be such a cold cow."
-Greg Kinnear as Ray in Someone Like You

As if all of that weren't enough... this might be moving at an accelerated pace soon.

I told Travis that I was relocating and may not come to the gym anymore depending on my contract. When I ran out to the car to grab him a business card for the guy who found me my apartment, he apparently told Gym Crush I was moving. I came back in and Travis yelled, "Gym crush is sad you're leaving too!" (Obviously, he didn't call him gym crush) I started laughing and asked if he would miss me and he said he definitely would. I was probably glowing and I don't give a damn. I love feeling loved. Especially by an attractive guy.

He continues to flirt with me in front of a solid 10 people standing at the counter making it glaringly apparent. Sexual tension is just whipping around. He asks me how I'm wearing long sleeves and tells me he's getting hot just looking at me. I laugh and tell him he doesn't have to make shit up to tell me I'm hot. I already know it. He winks at me and laughs. Oh man, I. AM. IN. TROUBLE.

Gym Crush then tells everyone I carry a pillow and blanket around in my car so I can crash anywhere. I mean fucking YELLS it. So what if it's true? And why does he know this? I go to push him when I tell him to shut up and touch solid pectoral muscle. The kind that would feel AHHHHHMAZING in bed. Damn, not too hard but not too soft and definitely there. I'm getting wet at work just thinking about it right now.

Of course, this wouldn't be fair if I didn't tease him back a little. So I proceed to tell him I didn't need it Friday night when I was having sex in a cop car. Just to show him I'm kinky, you know. Like a bat signal for cheating.

Thoughts? Judgements? Advice?

The Other Woman

That would be me...so this song seems pretty appropriate for today.




Apparently, someone I hooked up with had a girlfriend...and they just broke up. Whoops.

I AM the Other Woman...

And I don't feel bad about it AT ALL.

I know, all of you will hate me now. You think I'm a hussy, a skank, a whore and whatever other clever names you can come up with. But the sad truth is, the woman didn't even factor into my mind when I was doing it. It wasn't until later that I even thought to myself, "Holy shit, he just cheated on his girlfriend with me!"

Even now, I don't really feel bad about it. Like Berryfine, I think as I've gotten older I've started thinking in terms of cheating with a married man versus cheating on a girlfriend. As she puts it, when you cheat with a married man you ruin multiple lives, careers, reputations and so much more. The magnitude of it seems that much bigger. Maybe I'm thinking like a guy in that unless there's a ring on it, you ain't committed. Though I suppose that doesn't stop some people. Maybe if I had a gym crush, I wouldn't let a little thing like a missing ring stop me.

I've always wondered what makes a girl participate in a sexual relationship with a man she knows is off the market. I started doing a little research online about this and came up with the following: BECAUSE WE CAN. Because we need validation, sex, the idea of the forbidden. Because he's attractive and we don't want to look back later and wonder how it could have been. Apparently, I'm not the only one wondering about the grey areas of cheating either, if answerbag is any indication.

You're probably wondering how it all came about. Well, I guess I can thank liquor for lowering my inhibitions. And apparently blocking out all sense of right and wrong and allowing my id to take over. I wanted him and I could tell he wanted me as the night went on. I didn't make the first move, I've reasoned with myself. He kissed me and then we were going at it. I can't help it if he throws himself and some of the best sex I've ever had at me right off the bat. How was I to say no?

The worst part about it is that even though I KNOW in my head I should feel bad about this, I actually don't. In fact, I've been talking to him regularly since then- flirty texts, emails and phone calls. Though I know this can't go anywhere it's fun and I figure I deserve some fun in my life. I don't expect him to cheat on her again with me. Nor do I expect him to leave her for me.

Take Care Of Your Girl Before Someone Else Does...

"Jaw on the fing floor!!  Literally mouth open and gasped."   LT

"Glad I could help someone get laid" Hip J

"Take care of your girl before someone else does."  All things I heard after I cheated.  No need to cover it up or make it seem less then it was.  I cheated on him.  It's an appropriate blog considering Berryfine's April 27th post.  Well he wasn't married, but it was cheating.  After all the complaining and blogging, I went somewhere else.  Do I feel guilty?  No.  Judge me all you want.  I don't know you and if I do then I don't fucking care.  Go fuck yourself because I got hot, sweaty, nasty SEXXX.  This is going to sound juvenile but he (the boyfriend) started it.

Have you ever had the kind of sex that with just one thought makes you wet?  The touching, biting, leg shaking experience that you want to re-create over and over and over again?  The common question you hear among cheaters and cheatees is "Was it work it?" WELL FUCK YEA!  Yea it was!  My vag is pulsing thinking about it?  Have you ever had a vag pulse?  NO?!  Well then you need to think about the last time that you were really FUCKED!  I'm not talking about love making.  There is a time and a place for that.  This is not that time or that place.  The following week I couldn't taking to him without Vicky knowing alllll of my secrets.  He, who we will call Mr. XX, is no random.  I've known him for years.  Have you ever had a guy/girl you could have dated but you picked A over B?  Well he was B from when Boyfriend and I started dating four years ago.  Mr.  XX knows I have a boyfriend.  In fact they're in rival fraternities and for a while Mr. XX never let me forget it.

I've stayed away from a few of his advances (even after the boyfriend cheated) over the years but this time I made the move.  I was sick of no sex.  I tried.  We talked, I asked, walked around butt ass fucking naked and even pulled out the sexy panties.

I was in Atlanta to visit a friend for the weekend (Hip J) and so I could fly out of town for work the following week.  Hip J is very current on my situation.  We used to work together and e-mail damn near daily.  She was all about making things happen.  She was so about it she let me take sleeping on her pull out couch one step further.  Mr. XX was just as open to the idea.  "What do I need to bring?" Condoms.  "I'll call you when I'm close."  There was some sexting in between and and the words 'fuck' and 'dick' might have been thrown around.   He waisted no time when he got inside the apartment.  His clothes came off and when my pants came down he had one question..."AisforAwesome why won't yo man smash (fuck)?" If I knew that Mr. XX then I'd be getting laid.  "Well AisforAwesome I wanna wake up to it".

It was like a Trey Songz video.  Have you seen the "Neighbors Know My Name" video?  I'm surprised that Hip J didn't wake up.   All the things I wanted and some things that I didn't think of happened ("Tell me you love it").  I now know that with a little more of the yoga I've been doing that I'll be able to get my feet to my ears without his help.  We had sex twice that night and once again the next morning.  It was ah-maaa-zing.  Just the ass smacking, hair pulling (his and mine), leg shaking, toe curling sex that I needed.

Excuse me...I think I'll go sext someone now.

Would You Cheat With A Married Man?

With all the cheating scandals out there these days (hello Tiger, Jesse and allegedly Reggie) and a wealth of magazines to blow them up, the idea of cheating has been on my mind a lot lately. That may be due to the fact that I’m more wondering about the “ladies” these sleezeballs are sleeping with. I use the term “ladies” loosely because let’s face it not one of them has a shred of dignity (except maybe Rachel who parlayed her cheating into a million dollar settlement to keep her mouth shut, a job as a correspondent and possibly a role on the next season of Dancing With the Stars). As you can tell, I read a lot of gossip.

Anyway… I know there are instances where the other woman could have been duped into sleeping with a married guy buy how often? And where was their supposed innate sense of intuition that is so touted about women? I think you can definitely tell if a guy is off the market. If not right away, then pretty quickly. So I had to ask myself, would I ever knowingly help a man cheat on his wife? I say wife because there is a permanency to that promise and exchange of vows that the other woman really damages. Rather than a couple, she has the opportunity to really do some serious damage to a family, a career, friendships and a reputation.

I try to steer clear of saying I would never do something because

1. It’s more likely that I will (for instance, sometimes I don’t shave figuring it will stop me from being a ho. It doesn’t)
and

2. I’d be a hypocrite and you just don’t know what you would do in that situation until you’re knee deep in the shit with two options that both seem viable.

As you well know, I have a gym crush who recently had a baby. And I just discovered he IS married but doesn’t wear his wedding ring in the gym. He keeps it in his car, rather than the locker room and I would assume 9 times out of 10 that the guy is looking to cheat when the ring comes off but considering he’s mentioned her and their child to me multiple times without commenting on marital discord I highly doubt it. The fact is, despite his propensity to GTL, his wealth of piercings and tats, and his inexplicable taste in everything I hate in terms of style, he’s a genuinely nice and funny guy. Not to mention attractive with a body I’d love to run my hands all over. So, I cannot definitively say, “NO, I’D NEVER DO THAT”. In fact, I’m pretty sure if he asked me to hang out away from the gym I would say yes. And if somehow that turned into something sexual, I have a feeling my conscience would put up a token resistance before succumbing to “This could be something you regret. But you might regret it more if you don’t let him just pound right into you.” I also wonder if I was having sex regularly if that would stop me or if I’m admitting to this because my vagina is begging for me to be slutty.

What about you guys? Have you/ Would you be the other woman? Maybe you are currently- no judgement here (in fact, tell us about it anonymously below!). Have you cheated on a boyfriend/spouse?