Service with a Fucking Smiles

Dear ERIN,  We hope you enjoy your special day. We truly appreciate your business, and we look forward to another great year. Wishing you a very happy birthday!

My birthday isn't until Monday, and I could use some kind of, i don't know, monetary present from them but I give them an A for effort.

Side note, how does one become an annoying as shit cheerleader for a national company? I bet this bitch makes bank.

What is Missing?

It has occured to me that this website is missing something. A couple of somethings:

1. Drunk blogging

2. Recaps

3. Pictures

Not sure I can remedy any of those but since I'm fucking sitting here stone-cold sober BY MYSELF on Thanksgiving after ingesting the Ruby Tuesday's fucking salad bar, I guess I could at least muster some damn pictures. So....here goes:

Nothing says I can't cook but fuck it, I like to booze like a fridge filled with a gallon of milk, two dozen eggs, some dips for chips, a sprite and over 3 dozen jello shots. Welcome to day 2 of my 22nd birthday.

If you want to bang a girl and make her feel like she drank you under a table when really you led her along like the pied piper into a naked blackout, I'm a whore state then head to Buddha Bar in Athens, GA and give her some sake bombs. When she stops trying to even get the shot glasses on the chopsticks, it's time to take her home. Not that this ever happened to me. I did, however, do this to a guy. Or two. Okay, three. That's my final answer.

Apparently, these guys are in a frat. What tipped you off? Maybe the fact that one brother is about to drink from another brother's crotch? Maybe? Tehehe, dick jokes are funny.

Welcome to a typical Shambles night. This was back in 2006. That is my collection of shot glasses and my chaser "fat bud". And no I do not pull that Coyote Ugly bullshit spit it in the beer bottle crap. I take my shots and I like them. Also, I am slightly artistic when I want to be.

Okay, bitches, I'm bored of this currently. I think 4 pictures into my past is enough. However, this is something I will start doing on the reg. Send me your funny shots and I'll post those too. Anonymously or otherwise.

Day 12- DAY OF REST

Yesterday, my best friend Brittany and I hit up Twist in Atlanta for a post birthday dinner. Our birthdays are a week apart and we hadn't had a chance to celebrate yet so we went out together with no one else, exchanged presents, ate tapas and had a few drinks. I was actually very well behaved. I had planned on working out but I stopped into a Salon by me to see if they could squeeze me in today and they had a slot yesterday so I took advantage of it! My hair looks fab and I got goodies and $20.00 off my haircut for being a first time customer. Let me know if you are in the Lawrenceville area and I will hook. you. up!

breakfast not one but two packs of oatmeal. Normally, one fills me up but yesterday I woke up ravenous!

snack banana

lunch Yesterday was spent obsessing over the new defensive coordinator for UGA so lunch was kind of a celebration. I know, I know, tying successes to food is a HORRIBLE idea but the craving was there and I just HAD. TO. DO. IT. Anyway, I had a delicious lean cuisine. And some cheetos (one serving size thank you very much). And a sprite.

snack yogurt

dinner WAS A TREAT. I love Twist and for my birthday they sent me $25 off my meal! So Britt and I picked a ton of tapas and beverages to enjoy through the meal. She opted for bruschetta (which she thought was ham and was actually tomatoes which she hates. So that was funny), a crab cake and some delicious potatoes. Just an fyi she is 1/2 my size. Literally. I ordered some queso. I saw it on the menu and saw chorizo and had to have it. Luckily Britt ate some for me and so I didn't indulge on my own! I also ordered a ginger salad with beets and carrots and cucumbers and tomatoes AND spicy tuna which is my absolute fav! We both had some drinks. Britt opted for Reisling and I picked out a Skinny Rita (probably sounds healthier than it is!). Britt also ordered creme brule which I tried for the first time. It was AWESOME. I, of course, picked a chocolate martini as my desert.

Amazingly enough, I woke up this morning and had not gained weight! WOOO!