I'm Naked in Front of You... Why Aren't You Trying to Have Sex With Me?

I'm confused. I thought, if a naked girl is in front of a guy that he would immediately try to have sex with her. Right? Isn't that what you dickheads have been telling me? Isn't that why "oh her mouth just happened to swallow my dick when she tripped walking toward me and I didn't know my fly was open" is a valid excuse in their opinion? Isn't that why they hook up with ugly chicks? Because they like sex and naked women get them going right?

Well then this particular incident is bothering me. A lot.

Okay, first, I know I'm no spring chicken. There are lots of skinny hotter chicks than me in the world. But in my humble opinion, my own boyfriend should be trying to sex me up when I'm naked in front of him.

Anyway, on his last visit, I came home from the gym and took a shower.

First, why didn't he try to have shower sex? Apparently, Sports Center held his attention and it didn't occur to him. Your girlfriend is naked, soaping up and it isn't on your mind?!?!

Second, I came out of the shower and was standing in my robe in my closet contemplating what to wear. Do you know how easy a robe is to take off? I just took half the effort out of sex and still nothing. He is standing behind me watching me get ready. Seriously, at least comment on the fact I'm naked under here.

So of course, I whip around thus flashing everything and say something about sex and he tells me he's hungry so I need to get ready so we can eat and then have sex.

NO, NO, NO.

I should not have to put this much effort into this, am I right? I mean I clearly want sex if I'm parading around in a silk robe taking my sweet ass time getting dressed so you'll notice I'M NAKED under here.

And when I asked him about it he said I should have just grabbed his dick. Then he would have known I wanted to have sex.

Is this for serious? Is there something wrong with me?

This means I want Sex. FYI.

February 21,2010- Born Again

My six month anniversary of the last time I had a sexual encounter including someone else has come and gone. Surprisingly enough I did not commemorate this incredible occasion with anything. Not even a masturbation and sexy lingerie.

Which lead me to the assumption that at this point I have been born again. Surprisingly enough, by month six I wasn't jonesing for sex as much as month one. Am I becoming desensitized to sexual encounters? And then I started feeling like the teenager who wasn't having sex when everyone else was and spent their days wondering "Am I normal"? Which really is not conducive to going out on the prowl.

I imagine if I was a guy, this would be the cartoon of my current situation:

So now I suppose I should probably start guarding my newly reacquired v card...maybe invest in some protective gear. Also, no more drinking cause that's a sure way to lose that shit again. But then I wonder, what would happen if I waited and waited and waited and nothing sexual ever happened again in my life? Would I be miserable? Would I be a bitch to people? Hmmm, six months in and I do get supremely annoyed with stupid shit so maybe there is a link.

I can't even write a proper blog that stays on topic or even makes sense! How should I break this drought? Should I break this drought?